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David Abbott's avatar

The girlboss vs. tradwife debate only has real stakes if you're coming from an illiberal premise. The obvious liberal answer is: women who want careers should pursue them, women who want to stay home should pursue that, and nobody should be hectored either way.

What makes this debate so tedious is that both sides treat a conditional strategy as a universal prescription. Tradwifery is a great strategy conditional on finding a good partner and genuinely preferring domestic life. Girlbossing is a great strategy conditional on having career opportunities you actually enjoy. These aren't competing visions of womanhood — they're different bets that make sense under different circumstances.

The choices are also neither fixed nor made in a vacuum. A 30-year-old frustrated with corporate life can change course. A former stay-at-home mom can reenter the workforce. The decisions are iterative. They're also shaped by class, era, and luck — it's a lot easier to girlboss your way to success if you have capital, credentials, and a functioning 21st-century labor market to operate in.

What Yglesias is gesturing at, and what I think is correct, is that the anti-girlboss turn from both the left and the right requires you to believe women are making systematically wrong choices — which means you have to believe women's choices are less reliable than your ideology. That's a much bigger claim than either side usually admits to making

Wandering Llama's avatar

Something that is often underrated in this discourse is that millennial husbands absolutely want an income earning wife -- or at least all the ones I know do. Who wants the pressure of being a single income household?

This is often framed as a woman's choice, and it is, but it's also a couple's choice. More and more couples are choosing to forego the additional flexibility of a SAHP in exchange for a higher living standard and income predictability.

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