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InMD's avatar

I'm sure this comment will not be popular but whatever. I agree that trans people need to be treated with equality and dignity, and deeply oppose what's going on in some red stares for civil libertarian reasons. This sort of care, like all other care, needs to be a private matter between people and their doctors. I think Bostock got the legal question right, and that as people we owe it to others to do our best to be polite and accomodating, as best as we can, within reason.

But here's the part that's going to piss people off and where I disagree with Matt's initial framing. It is the trans rights activists who are the bullies and who have played a big role in creating the opening for the right wing insanity and panic. Note I distinguish activists and groups from individual trans people who I assume generally just want to be left alone to live their lives.

The bullying includes treating all parents as suspected abusers of their children (including in blue district public schools), woke 'gotcha' games with language, and trying to use bizarro interpretations of civil rights laws to force strangers into validating increasingly metaphysical assertions about the nature of gender and sex. The most bullied are of course women who have the temerity to stand up for their hard earned rights, or just raise concerns about whether self-id standards aren't ripe for abuse, especially when they result in predatory men being given access to womens' spaces.

So the right wing, as usual, is wrong and always looking for an opening to relitigate issues they lost. But defeating them also requires being adults about some of the thornier issues, and also realizing when it is the activists we nominally agree with who are the illiberal assholes. My belief is that the right would have struggled to mobilize on this issue, but for the nuttier aspects of it suddenly appearing in public schools over the last few years and yet here we are. Nothing is worse than failing to realize the stupid result of stupid, unserious ideas taken to their natural conclusion, which is exactly what that Jamie Reed story will be if substantiated.

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ariabatic's avatar

Thank you, this is a clearly stated parceling out of the issue. I'm a progressive adult woman and worry about this for AFAB people younger than me. I would love to see more progressive commentators engaging with the following reality: adolescence as a woman is in many ways terrible and frightening. There is a huge change in how other people, including adults, see you and treat you and many of those changes are frankly for the worse and they stay that way forever. I can easily imagine that many girls I knew as a teenager, maybe myself as well, would have taken what must seem in some ways like a simple out if it had been available at the time. To be clear, the majority of girls I'm thinking of are now stable adult women; one transitioned as an adult. Having noticeable breasts as an awkward teenager, for example, is really just miserable. But my breastfeeding relationship with my child was one of the most fulfilling experiences I've ever had, in a way that I absolutely could not have imagined as a teenager. The idea of making an irreversible choice when I was 15 or 16 that would have taken that away is heartbreaking.

The unmistakable physical reality here is that transitioning is not a simple out, and it's not clear that hormone blockers are either. Moreover I wish the discourse around this was more nuanced around the fact that feeling alienation from femininity, or even dysphoria around femininity, is not the same thing as feeling comfortable in masculinity. I would be very interested to know what percentage of AFAB teenagers seeking gender-related care are choosing male pronouns versus "they/them". People should absolutely have the dignity to identify however they want. And, there has to be a way to answer discomfort with female puberty and living as a woman in society other than "you can run from this if you want".

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