Episode VII: The mailbag awakens

Ducks, private school, things to do in D.C., and of course war

It’s been nice to be back on the job. I’ve been looking forward all week to the mailbag!

Antioch: What's the maximum number of ducks you think you could take in a fight? The ducks are normal but they absolutely will not give up.

Assuming that we are talking about a wild duck with good mobility, then I think fighting against determined ducks would be pretty challenging.

The basic issue is that since they can fly and are pretty fast, they’re ideally suited to hit and run tactics — pecking at you from behind and flying away as you try to hit them while other ducks swoop in from the other side. Ducks aren’t very big, so someone who actually trained for man-vs-duck combat could probably figure out some tactics for kicking ducks in a way that snaps their neck or something but that’s not me. I’m a pretty big guy and in better shape than I used to be, but I don’t think swinging wildly and trying to punch ducks would be very effective. And if there’s anything I’ve learned from reading Jack Reac…